When spouses who have children decide to divorce, each parent almost certainly harbors concerns about how the divorce will impact the kids. Unfortunately, a newly released survey reveals that even concerned parents may have trouble grasping the scope of negative impacts that divorce can have on children. Many negative impacts are temporary and can be adequately dealt with when constructing parenting plans. However, it is important for parents to understand what divorce-related demons their children are wrestling with if they wish to properly address these issues and help their children overcome them.
According to The Huffington Post, both 100 children of divorced parents and 1,000 divorced parents were separately surveyed before the conclusions of the survey were compiled and published. The results of the survey are heartbreaking. Nearly 33 percent of children aged 17 and younger indicate that they are devastated by their parents’ divorce. Nearly 40 percent of kids admit to hiding their feelings about the divorce from both of their parents.
Perhaps most disturbing are the statistics which indicate that just shy of 15 percent of kids blame themselves for the divorce and cannot be honest about how they feel when speaking with their parents. One-fifth of all respondents feel that communicating with their parents about their feelings is a worthless pursuit because the adults in their lives are overly “wrapped up in themselves.”
On the flip side, more than three-quarters of parents surveyed indicate that their children are adjusting well to their divorce. You may think that your children are doing well and they may be. However, they also may be hiding their true feelings from you and may need more support or an adjustment to your parenting plan in order to get what they need. Please, communicate with your children openly, often and with compassion. Failure to do so could leave your children feeling unsupported and alone.
Source: The Huffington Post, “Survey Says Parents Are Unaware Of Divorce’s Impact On Kids,” Dec. 30, 2013