“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce,” quipped Grouch Marx. “Divorces are made in heaven,” proffered Oscar Wilde. While divorce is a life-changing event,rife with worry, anger and a sense of loss, it can also be a time of well, humor.
Most people get divorced because the marriage isn’t working. They believe it won’t or can’t work. If one person is done with the relationship, the relationship will not move forward. Both people will remain stuck, and likely unhappy and unfulfilled. So, in a sense, divorce is necessary and in many cases, is actually the best thing to happen.
7 ways to make it through your divorce intact
- Divorce can be messy. The emotional ups and downs can make you feel unsteady. Remember that this is temporary. It will not last forever. Things will work out. Don’t take yourself, or the little details too seriously.
- Count your blessings. Gratitude, especially when you are facing something overwhelming that feels insurmountable, is the key to transcending the event. Get a notebook and write down three very specific things that you are grateful for each morning or night before bed.
- Spend time with friends. Let yourself laugh. Get together with someone you love and trust and just let loose.
- Watch movies that make you laugh or cry. Let the emotions out.
- Give yourself the care and attention you deserve. This can mean hiring a personal trainer, taking long baths, learning to do something you’ve always wanted to do like cook or scuba dive or paint. Some of us process verbally. You may benefit from seeing a mental health professional once a week just to move through the divorce by talking about it with a neutral party who supports you.
- Pay attention to what you are consuming: Know what you are reading, listening to and eating and how these are affecting your mood. If watching the news brings you down, limit it to a few minutes and then turn it off. Remember that fresh fruits and vegetables and lean protein are the healthiest choices. Try to limit alcohol consumption as drinking every day can affect your mental health.
- When you are ready, put yourself back out there. Join a dating site or club for singles. After a divorce it can be about you.
A sense of humor goes a long way. It can be the best medicine and the thing that makes the process bearable. Remember too that as with any major life change, there are stages and they are not necessarily linear. Know that it’s normal to be in denial, or angry, or to try and bargain. Know too that at some point will come acceptance. You will be done with the process and it will all be behind you. And that’s something to smile about.