As you and your spouse get divorced, you start thinking about life after the split. Mostly, you’re just thinking about the children. You know that you’re likely going to share custody with your ex, meaning you’ll only see the kids for a portion of your time.
How much time do you need to preserve the parent-child relationship? What is best for your children?
Could parenting be more about quality over quantity?
Interestingly, some studies have argued that modern parents are too fixated on the number of hours that they spend with their children. Parents often feel guilty about not having enough time for the kids, but this can be harmful to the parents. In reality, the study found that spending less time with the kids did not have any negative consequences.
What this suggests is that it’s not the quantity of time that you spend with your children that matters, but the quality of that time. You need to use the time you have to connect and bond, actively taking a role in their lives. If you have less time than before, that doesn’t mean you’re going to lose that connection. You just have to work hard to make your time count.
Exactly how your time divide works will depend on things like what your schedule looks like, what you’re ex’s schedule looks like, whether both of you have to work, what schedules the children have for school and activities, and what the court decides is in their best interests. Once you find a solution, you can focus on making every day that you do have the children into an opportunity to grow closer, rather than worrying that you’re missing out when they’re with your ex.
Protect your rights as a parent
Parental rights are very important. During your divorce, be sure you know how to best protect yours. Issues involving child custody and visitation can be thorny, but they’re key for helping your family transition through the changes that come with divorce.